Nan Zatein Ka Lo Sawm

The Most Important Thing in Marriage!

Tuesday, August 13 Then We Met Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 Recommended Reading 1 John 1:1-9 "My wife and I were happy for twenty years," said comedian Rodney Dangerfield, "then we met." It doesn't have to be that way, of course. A quality marriage depends on a consistent walk with the Lord. Before we're married our top priority should be our relationship with Him. After marriage, it's the same. If we walk in the light, we'll have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7). Our relationship with our spouse will be as strong as our intimacy with the Savior. Hebrews 13:4 sums this up by giving us two rules for a thriving marriage: priority and purity. Marriage is honorable, so we should give it priority, working on it and patiently building a friendship around our romance. It also deserves purity as we avoid all hints of immoral behavior and diligently guard against anything or anyone drawing our hearts away from our vows. Walk with the Master, work on the marriage, keep Christ first in your life, and you can be happy all the years the Lord gives you on earth. It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Fulton J. Sheen

I now pronounce me ... broke

By Stephanie Gallman, CNN

updated 9:18 AM EDT, Tue July 30, 2013

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Stephanie Gallman has been a bridesmaid 12 times
• She loves weddings but hates how hard they hit her wallet
• Planning can save you a lot of cash
• Save on the gift by getting creative

Editor's note: Stephanie Gallman is a CNN national desk assignment editor and a semi-professional wedding guest.

(CNN) -- It's a bit of a joke around my office that I'm a professional bridesmaid and wedding attender, sacrificing vacation and a lot of money to celebrate the nuptials of my friends.

Total bridesmaid appearances: 12

Total weddings attended: I stopped counting at 74

Total amount spent: I'm scared to find out, but according to American Express Spending Tracker, the average amount spent attending a wedding is $539, so you do the math.

Let's just say my credit card company loves me.

Stephanie Gallman

Luckily, I happen to love weddings. But after doing things the wrong way the entirety of my bridesmaid career, I now consider myself an expert on how not to go broke or resent your friends getting married.

Consider these my gift to you.

Take a deep breath and smile

Photos: Always a bridesmaid ...

If the thought of attending yet another wedding doesn't fill your heart with happiness like it does mine, try to remember:

This is your friend. And he or she has asked you to participate in one of the biggest days of his or her life. This is a good thing.

Weddings are not an exercise established to stress you out or bring you down, and if you've been lucky to have been included in any part of the day, well, then, smile, because that means you're someone's friend!

Smiles and deep breaths also help when it's time to fork over your cash and kiss your precious vacation days goodbye.

Stay in touch!

Don't miss out on the conversation we're having at CNN Living. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook for the latest stories and tell us what's influencing your life.

Be realistic and honest

After the squeals and hugs and "I'd be honoreds" are over, the sometimes-uncomfortable conversations about what's expected of you as a member of the wedding party will inevitably follow.

Anja Winikka is the site director for the popular wedding websiteTheKnot.com. She advises wedding guests -- that's right, guests -- to "get organized" when it comes to attending a wedding.

"If you know you have a wedding coming up in August and you know there will be expenses coming up, you may have to cut back in other areas," Winikka said. "Map out your calendar and set a budget."

Once you know what's expected of you as a guest or attendant and you've taken inventory of your budget, communicate any worries you might have to the bride or groom. Let them know what you can do and, more important, what you can't. If you're having trouble making rent, for example, an extravagant bachelorette party in the Virgin Islands is probably not feasible.

Ask the dress shop whether you can set up a payment plan to make monthly contributions toward your wedding wardrobe.

Once the date is set, book your flight and hotel rooms early to avoid high fares.

Whatever you do, let the bride and groom know where you stand. Flaking at the last minute because you can't afford it is a guaranteed way to put a friendship in turmoil.

Get choosy

I'm not one for putting a hierarchy on friendships, but when it comes to minding your finances and attending weddings, you can't do it all. So it's OK to be selective when it comes to whose wedding invitation you accept and whose you decline.

We all know about the "courtesy invite." Your childhood neighbor you haven't seen in 15 years would love to have you there, but sometimes you have to say no.

Be polite and send a thoughtful gift, but don't waste your frequent flier miles on a wedding for someone whose middle name you don't know.

Shack up and double up

Part of the fun of traveling to weddings is that they're usually a reunion with old friends -- and therefore present excellent opportunities to cut costs.

"Going in with your friends for a group gift is a great way to buy something more substantial for the couple," Winikka suggests.

Winikka advises finding out ahead of time who is going to the wedding so you can make plans to share a hotel room or at least share transportation costs from the airport.

Parading down the aisle dressed isn't exactly the same as strolling down a white, sandy beach, but if weddings are eating up your money and your vacation time at work, turn it into a vacation by tacking a couple of days on to the beginning or end of the trip.

Last summer, when my friend Elizabeth got married in Northern California, I scheduled a visit with another friend in Southern California and then drove up the Pacific Coast Highway.

Think outside the gift box

One of the best things about getting married is the loot you receive. But when it comes to presents, most of the brides I talked to said they'd prefer their loved ones' presence at their nuptials to a fancy gift.

Thanks to Pinterest and DIY blogs, homemade gift ideas are easy to find and replicate. Some of my favorites include homemade soaps, a scrapbook of unprofessional pictures from the wedding and collections of recipes from friends and family.

If Pinterest makes you feel as inadequate as I do, offer to house-sit or dog-sit while the couple is on their honeymoon or stock their fridge with a homemade dinner for when they return.

Just because it's not on their registry doesn't mean it won't be appreciated.

Recycle that dress

You were waiting for this one, weren't you?

It's a myth, ladies. Despite many a bride promising her maids "You can wear it again," I've actually never been able to pull this off.

Count the dress as a loss, a memory of a good time and the start to your very own "27 Dresses" collection.

Though I've never regretted any of the money I spent helping get my friends down the aisle to say "I do," with a little more forethought, planning and creativity, I could have Chicken Danced a lot easier without cracking open my nest egg.

Follow Stephanie Gallman on Twitter and keep up with CNN Living on Facebook.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/26/living/matrimony-guest-finances/index.html?hpt=li_t5

Got a great money-saving suggestions for members of the wedding party? Please share them in the comments below.

Ziangruangah Pathian in Thitumnak A Rak Tuah?

by San No Thuan

Thuhram thawhnak

Zo in thitumnak a rak tuah?

·      Pathian ih in tuah sakmi le in pekmi a si. Minung ih tuahmi a si lo.

·      Seem 2:18

o   “Cun Bawipa Pathian in, “Minung hi amah lawngih a um ding cu a rem lo; amah bawmtu ah rualpi ka tuahsak ding,” a ti.

o   Cutin Adam ih hnakruh sung in Eve a tuah.

·      A hmaisabik thitumnak cu Pathian in Eden dum sungah a tuah.

·      Thitumnak timi cu Pathian thluasuah/laksawng a si. Ziangruangah a rak tuah timi kha phunthum in sim ka duh.

Ziangruangah Pathian in thitumnak in tuahsak?

1.     Bawmtu le thazaang petu rualpi tha nei dingah (for our companionship to have mutual help and encouragement – to enjoy phileo love)

a.     Seem 2:18 … Amah lawng um a tha lo. Amah bawmtu rualpi ka tuah sak ding.  

b.     Na nupi /pasal ih rualpi tha bik na si maw?

c.      Nangmah kha a rualpi tha bik ah si aw (Be the best friend for your partner).

d.     Rualpi tha cun, tul caan ah mi a bawm ih, riahsiat le thanau caan ah thazaang mi a pe. Ziangkim thu ron aw tein thil an tuah.

e.     Rom 12:9-13

9Duhdawtnak kan ti tikah thinlung taktak thawn duhdawt ding a si. A ṭha lomi cu hua uhla a ṭhami kha kai hnget uh. 10Khristian unau nan si ruangah pakhat le pakhat sunsak awzet tein duhdaw aw ton uh. Pakhat le pakhat hmaizah awknak thiam uh. 11 Zaangzel hlah uh; napi in hnaṭuan uh. Nan thinlung zate pe in Bawipa ih hna cu ṭuan uh. 12Nan beiseinak in nan lung lo awiter seh; harsatnak nan ton tikah thinsau in um uh; cat loin thlacam uh. 13A tlasam mi Khristian unau pawl thawn nan neihmi kha hlawm aw uh. Cule mikhual pawl hrangah nan saangka ong uh.

2.     Lungawi te in innsaang nuam dintu dingah (designed for pleasure and being a family: to enjoy eros love)

a.     Nuam tlaang dingah: Seem 2:24-25 … pum khat ah an cang, lawngfang kheh in an um nan, ningzah an thei lo.

b.     Telefa thawn innsang nuam si dingah: Seem 1:28 – “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it . . .”

c.      Duhdawtnak ah nupa vek ih duhdawt awknak cu tthen khat te lawng a si. A thupi bik sung ih pakhat lawng a si. Pathian ih thluasuah pekmi a si. Asinan, marriage hnu ih neih dingmi ah Pathian ih a retmi a si.

d.     Nu le pa pawlawknak cu tappi meisa vek a si. Tappi meisa khi tappi ah re lo in, cuih thingthu bul kha hmun dang ih na ret ahcun, na inn a kaang theh ding. Cuvek in, Eros love hi duhdawtnak fek tertu ah na ruat ih hmun kip ah na ret ahcun, na nunnak na buai ding.

3.     Jesuh Khrih nunnak lang ter tu dingah (to reflect Christ: to reflect agape love – the love of sacrificial commitment).

a.     Duhdawtnak taktak timi cu ziangvek a si?

b.     Jesuh Khrih ih duhdawtnak ah kan hmu thei = Agape love.

·      Efe 5:22-33 .. Khrih ih a Kawhhran a duhdawt vek in nan duhdawt aw pei. Agape love a si.

c.      Agape love - is an act of will – a conscious decision to do what is best for the other person instead of ourselves)

·      Keimaih hrang hnak in a hrangah thil tha bik ka tuah sak ringring ding timi thinlung thencahnak a si. 

·      A uk in a uk lo ih, an zoh thim ding in riantu (serve) a tuan sawn (MK 10:45).

·      “Fall in love” a silo.  Midang a that caan ih duhdawknak feeling menmen a si lo. Agape love is not generated by feeling.  

·      “Walk in love” a si.  Agape love is a deliberate choice to love others. Midang hrang thatnak kha ziangvek an si khal le ka tuah ding ti ih duhhrilnak neih khi a si.  

Ziangruangah innsang ah buainak a suak? Basic problem

A tampi ding nan, a hrampi bik cu: maih zawn lawng ruahnak in thok (selfishness)

d.     Phili 2:3-4 … midang in an hrangih thupi tiah an timi hmuhzia thiam uh.

e.     Duhdawtnak ih letlam cu huatnak ti lawng a si lo. Maih zawn lawng ruahnak a si.

f.       

Thunetnak:

Christian thitumnak timi cu a tanglam ih thu pathum hi Pathian hmai le mipi hmai ah tuah ding in ka thinlung ka thencat (commitment) ka nei ti ih thu kam awk khi a si.

1.     Na rualpi tha ka si ding (Rom 12:9-13)

2.     Innsang nuam ka lo din pi ding (Seem 2:24-25, Seem 1:28)

3.     Khrih ih I duhdawt vek in na hrangah ziangkim a tha bik in ka tuan ding (Efe 5:22-33) ti ih thukam hi a si.

Matt 19:6 … Pathian ih a kom zomi, zokhal in then hlah hngai seh tiah a tinak a si.