NCC leaders express anger over beating death of Iraqi women

Washington, March 26, 2012 – Leaders of the National Council of Churches expressed anger Monday over the brutal beating death of an Iraqi-American women last week in El Cajon, Calif. The death of Shaima Alawadi, 32, is under investigation but signs indicate the attack was a hate crime. A note was placed beside her body saying, “go back to your country, you terrorist.” Alawadi’s daughter told police her mother had received a similar threatening note days earlier but had dismissed it as a prank. NCC President Kathryn M. Lohre and Interim General Secretary Clare J. Chapman joined calls Monday for a thorough investigation of the murder. “This attack on an innocent woman in the safety of her own home is horrible to contemplate under any circumstances,” Lohre and Chapman said in a joint statement. “The possibility that someone beat her because she was Iraqi, or because she wore a hijab, adds a terrifying dimension to the crime,” the NCC leaders said. Alwadi was beaten repeatedly on the head with a tire iron, according to press reports. “It is tragic and unconscionable whenever persons feel threatened because of their nationality, ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, age or any other aspect that sets them apart,” the leaders said. “The 37 member communions of the National Council of Churches have always welcomed all persons to our communities as the neighbors Jesus told us to love.” The leaders cited Jesus’ admonition that persons cannot love God and hate their neighbor. “When we hurt individuals because they don’t look or act like us,” the leaders said, “we are casting aside the very Creator who commanded us to love God and one another.” Ref: http://www.ncccusa.org/news/120326alawadi.html

TRUE LOVE

It was approximately 8.30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 a.m.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I saw him check his watch anxi...ously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient.

On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife.

I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago.
I asked him in surprise, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back my tears as he left.
I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
(hazik)

Dharun Ravi was found guilty Friday of invasion of privacy and bias intimidation.

March 19th, 2012

02:23 PM ET

Share

Comments (56 comments)

Permalink

Opinion: What the tragedy of Tyler Clementi teaches about teen sexting

Editors Note: David M. Hall, Ph.D., is he author of the book “Allies at Work: Creating a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Inclusive Work Environment.” He is also the author of “BullyShield,” an iPhone and Droid app. Hall teaches high school students as well as graduate courses on LGBT issues and bullying prevention. His website is www.davidmhall.com and he is on twitter@drdavidmhall.

By David M. Hall, Special to CNN

(CNN) – Dharun Ravi made videos of his college roommate, Tyler Clementi, sexually involved with another man. Tyler was unaware that he was being recorded and broadcast. Confronted with this violation of his privacy, Tyler committed suicide by jumping from the George Washington bridge.

In 2008, Jessica Logan, a high school senior in Ohio, sent naked pictures of herself to her boyfriend. When they broke up, he forwarded those photos to others. Logan was called a slut and a whore, according to numerous news reports. She eventually committed suicide – just weeks  after graduation- by hanging herself in her bedroom closet.

Clementi’s privacy was clearly violated. There is debate about whether Logan waived her privacy. However, both were victims of people inflicting harm by attempting to hold them up for ridicule. Each of their stories has the same tragic ending. Clementi and Logan found that their expectation of privacy was violated.

According to teens, sending and posting sexually explicit images is occurring more than many adults realize. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reports that 20% of teens (18% of boys and 22% of girls) have sent such nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves.

I teach criminal justice to high school seniors, and we debate the seriousness of crimes. On most issues – such as the death penalty, armed robbery, drinking and driving – their views are similar to adults. When talking about sexting, however, their views are decidedly different.

Their first area of disagreement is frequency. High school students insist that the 20% figure of sending or posting sexually explicit images is not even close to correct. They argue that those numbers are closer to 50%.

Many state that sending sexually explicit pictures of yourself waives your right to privacy, and a significant number argue there is nothing wrong with forwarding such images. However, this view is disproportionately held by males. Additionally, many students explain that the issue is largely heterosexual males forwarding sexually explicit images of females. This problem is not an equal opportunity offender.

What ties together the tragedies of Tyler Clementi and Jessica Logan is that males are the perpetrators of forwarding or posting the sexually explicit images. On a larger scale, it appears that males are the primary source of sexually explicit images being spread.

What are responsible adults – whether we are in homes, schools, or places of worship – doing to help teens navigate the virtual world responsibly? Judging by how common this problem is, whatever we are doing is having limited success.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy argues that people should consider the following before sending such images of themselves:

1. Don’t assume that anything you send or post will remain private.
2. There is no changing your mind in cyberspace.  Anything you send or post will never truly go away.
3. Don’t give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
4. Consider the recipient’s reaction.
5. Nothing is truly anonymous.

While these steps provide valuable advice to people who are about to send or post sexually sexually explicit images to others, these guidelines would have done nothing to protect Tyler Clementi. It is critical that we also place responsibility on those who forward sexually explicit messages.

We must also target messages at teens, particularly males, who are often forwarding and posting sexually explicit images. Future instances can be avoided if we teach teens to think carefully before sharing sexually explicit images of others. As a parent and educator, I want teens to consider the following when they consider forwarding sexually explicit images:

1.     Violating a person’s privacy may be illegal. Some people get prosecuted for such actions and go to prison.

2.     Think about the person in the photograph or video. You may think it is funny or not a big deal, but that person is much more likely to feel violated.

3.     Remember that people have responded to this invasion of privacy by resorting to extreme measures such as suicide. Even if your actions are not illegal, they could trigger a tragedy that will have a devastating impact on many. You will have to live with that.

These messages are best if taught in the home as parents should be aware of how much access their children have to electronic communications. Additionally, schools, places of worship, and community centers should work to identify the virtual citizenship education that meets the goals and needs of their communities.

Much of the press coverage of Ravi’s trial revolved around whether or not he was homophobic. This was a critical question in his trial, but there is something larger the rest of us should consider. Many young people today do not understand the pain inflicted by violating someone’s privacy in the virtual world. Specifically, many heterosexual males may fail to understand the pain and isolation felt by females and gay males when their privacy is violated.

The suicides of Tyler Clementi and Jessica Logan should be treated as a call to action. If we do not change how we are teaching teens, I believe these tragedies will merely serve as chapters in a larger, devastating story of young people who have gone to extreme measures after being ridiculed and traumatized by their sexuality in the virtual world.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of David M. Hall.

Lessons from Rutgers on privacy and hate speech

Editor's note: Christopher Wolf is an Internet and privacy lawyer and is chairman of the Internet Hate Task Forces of the Anti-Defamation League and the Inter-Parliamentary Coalition for Combating Antisemitism.

(CNN) -- A few minutes of what was considered online fun, and one person is dead. Another is convicted of invasion of privacy and bias intimidation.

When Rutgers student Dharun Ravi set up a spycam to catch roommate Tyler Clementi in a same-sex romantic moment, and when he tweeted about it and his plans to do it again, little did he think that Clementi would commit suicide or that he would face serious jail time and deportation. Ravi is learning his lesson the hard way.

There are lessons for all of us:

What you do online can hurt people. Despite the adage about sticks and stones, words can and do hurt -- especially when anyone can publish information that reaches millions. The Internet is full of homophobic, racist, anti-Semitic and misogynistic content.

At a minimum, hate speech is online pollution, but it can go much further. It reinforces stereotypes and strengthens the belief that singling out "the other" for abuse is acceptable. Hate speech can harden low self-esteem and intimidate its targets -- and even lead people to commit suicide.

Christopher Wolf

Online bystanders have a responsibility. Some students in the Rutgers dorm were amused by Ravi's spycam-Twitter scheme. Others ignored it. They should have been outraged, and they should have done something about it. "If you see something, say something" is not an admonition restricted to the security realm.

Tools are online for each of us to flag and report content that is objectionable. Many online companies have staffs to review such reports and to take action, from removing the offensive content to ejecting the person who posted it. Each of us should take responsibility to combat hate-filled content.

Speak up: Clicking to report hate speech to an online host is not all we can do. Justice Louis Brandeis, in a 1927 Supreme Court case, extolled the virtues of "counter-speech" to address objectionable speech.

That pre-Internet admonition applies full force to online messages today. Hate speech legitimizes discrimination, and many of the people who post it believe no one objects. So object. Speak up to counter the lies of hate speech or the inappropriate online conduct directed at minorities. Just as the Internet provides thoughtless haters with broadcasting tools, each of us has those same tools at our disposal. A little counter-speech can go a long way.

It's time to get serious about cyber-literacy and ethics. The lack of education in schools about the rules that apply to online posting is appalling. Kids are left to their own devices, literally, with little guidance.

Given the power in everyone's hands to cause injury -- and to be injured -- schools should provide serious discussions of what is appropriate online behavior. We are well past the time when adults can think of themselves as the digital immigrants who don't fully understand new technologies, compared with their kids, the digital natives who better understand the online world.

Privacy is a shared responsibility. Discussions about privacy usually revolve around consumer privacy and protection. But in this era of social media, when everyone can be a publisher and broadcaster, individual responsibility to respect privacy should be the focus. Most people would know that secretly setting up a webcam to spy on someone is wrong. But posting embarrassing photos and videos and making thoughtless comments can be a wrongful invasion of privacy as well. Each of us has a responsibility to consider the privacy implications of what we do online.

Homophobia is not funny. Finally, while young straight people today are much more accepting of gay people, an undercurrent of homophobia remains. Ravi most likely would not have set up a webcam to catch his roommate making out with a girl, nor would he have tweeted about it.

In some quarters, the put-down "That's so gay" is still common parlance. Many think of gays and lesbians as "the other" and fair game for jokes. Racist and anti-Semitic jokes still have currency. Ravi may have thought what he was doing to his roommate was funny, but he now knows it was anything but, for Clementi and for himself.

Mang ka man lala! (March 13 Zaan)

Tulai hi cazoh khal huam cuca lo in, thanau zet ih ka um laifang a si. Ka Ph.D zirmi hi teh a tikcu khel in ka theh thei ding maw ti thinphang in ka um. Cumi ruangah si pei maw ka thei lo. Ka mang hmang in Pathian in thazaang a tanglam bang in I pek.

Mizaan cu ca ka zoh ka zoh ih zinglam nazii pathum ah ka it. Mang lamdang zet pakhat ka man ih zing 6:30 am hrawngah ka tthang. Ka it tum rero nan ka it thei nawn lo. Ihhmu khal khawp zet in ka um fawn ih ka mang bang zet. Nidang cu nazii 8 sung hrawng ka ih lo cun ka thazee vek in ka um ciamco. Mizaan cu nazii pathum le hrek hrawng lawng ka it nan ka lung a fim zet.

Ka manmi cu thazang ii pe zettu a si. Ka mang ahcun, “Ka rual Alian te in thaithih in hlaan ih, cuih thaithih cu pakhat pa in ka lo hlaangta ding tiah I ti ih, I pe duh nawn lo. A tlan hlo. Kan tong aw sal ih I pe aw, midang ta si ka ti khal le a duh lo. Ka thin a heng tuk ih, ka thong ciamco. Padinpauh kiangah ka thong ruangah, ka thong phah in padinpauh cun amah tein tlan duh ah dung ngalh in a ngal ter aw ih in tangah a vung tla. A thi ter aw ih, inn tang ka vung tum tikah, a ruang cu ka nu ih unau pawl in an rak kai ih, a thi ter aw ti an theih ruangah a thih le thih lo a hnar ah ar-ek maan uhla a thih le thih lo kan thei ding tiah an ti ih ar-ek a hnar ah an maan ciamco. Rei lo te ah, cupa cun, tawk zo I maan nawn hlah uh tiah a hung au.

A hnar ar-ek ih a maantu cu Sayama T. Mawi a si. Cupa an kaih ih ar-ek an maannak hmun tla khi ekinn khur tlun ah a si betbet. Ekinn khur hman a cim zik te rori nan, Nu Mawi cu ttih lo in, a fapa ka hrangah misual pa cu a kai ih ar-ek a man ciamco.

Cucu ka mang a si. Ziang si a sullam tiah ka hung thang tikah, thla ka cam ih Pathian ka sut ciamco. Ka thinlung ih a fiang zetmi cu: “Ka fa, nangmaih lamih a ttangtu an tam tuk. Tih hlah! Alian teih thaithih timi cu fimthiamnak a si. Cumi na neihmi nei lo ding ih a lo longtu cu do aw. An lo neh lo ding. Na lam ah minung tampi an ttang tuk ti hngilh hlah” ti in ka thinlung hnathlam ah fiang zet in ka thei.

50 things to say before you die

You’ve read the lists that compiled the 50 or 100 places and things you must see and do before you die.

These lists are great for reminding you how short life is and for showing you what you’re missing.

This list is a little different; it compiles 50 things to say before you die.

Why such a list? Because you’d be surprised how little people express their selves and say what they need to say to those who matter. You don’t want to be on your deathbed before you utter these words.

You need to say these at the appropriate times and with true meaning behind them. Reading them now does not count.

1. Thanks for everything you’ve done. – Say it to your mother, father, grandmother, or sister; whoever deserves it. Say it when it’s least expected and when it will make the most impact.

2. You’ve changed my life.

3. I need you.

4. I’ve only got one life to live. – This will give you tremendous motivation.

5. Nothing can stop me.

6. I love my life.

7. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.

8. I can change the world.

9. I will change the world.

10. I have changed the world.

11. I’m rich without money.

12. I’m doing what I was meant to do.

13. I conquered my biggest fear.

14. Glad to help you.

15. I have all the money I need.

16. I don’t care what people think.

17. I’m honest.

18. I’m going for it!

19. I’m proud of myself.

20. I’ve failed.

21. I’ve learned from my failures.

22. I have no regrets. – Many people believe everything happens for a reason. So why would you have any regrets?

23. I don’t like my life – Of course it’s a bad thing to say. But once you’ve acknowledged that you don’t like your life you can now begin to change it.

24. I’ve never had more fun in my life.

25. You hurt me.

26. There’s more to life than this.

27. I love you no matter what.

28. I’ve accomplished a lot.

29. You’ve been successful.

30. I’m listening. – Sometimes it’s more important to listen than to talk.

31. I’m here for you.

32. Words can’t describe the way I feel.

33. I’m not giving up.

34. I don’t have any worries.

35. There is no place like home.

36. It was a pleasure to talk to you.

37. I have all the time in the world.

38. I need a hand.

39. You’re my best friend.

40. I’m glad you were here.

41. I’m just gonna go for it.

42. I can’t thank you enough.

43. I’m trusting my gut.

44. I follow my own path.

45. What a wonderful world.

46. I take full responsibility. – Own up to your mistakes, people will respect you.

47. I’m not sorry. – There are times when you shouldn’t be sorry.

48. I came, I saw, I conquered.

49. I haven’t said enough.

50. I’m not afraid.

Share anything else in the comments below you think is important to for people to say in their lifetime.