Four Steps to Forgiving Others

Ephe 4:31-32, Rom 12:17-21

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”  (Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV).  Too many of us don’t really understand what forgiveness is. We struggle through all kinds of misconceptions about what it means to forgive others. I mentioned a few of these specific misconceptions in yesterday’s devotional. I’m convinced that if more people knew what real forgiveness looked like, they’d be much more willing to forgive instead of holding on to past hurts at an unhealthy level. The Bible clearly calls us to forgive others. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (NIV). So if God expects us to forgive others, what does healthy, biblical forgiveness look like? Here’s a four-part process that we should walk through as we’re dealing with pain brought upon by others. Recognize no one is perfect. When we hate somebody, we tend to lose our perspective about that person. When we’re filled with resentment and bitterness and hurt, we tend to dehumanize the offender. We treat that person like an animal. But we’re all in the same boat. The Bible says, “Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NLT). We’re all imperfect. Even Jesus, the son of God had enemies while he was ministering on earth. No matter where Paul and the other apostles traveled, there were enemies who opposed their work. Unfortunately, some believers have enemies because they lack love and patience, and not because they are faithful in their witness. There is a differende between sharing in “the offense of the crosss” (Gal. 6:12-15) and being an offensive Christian! 13Asinain ka u le ka nau tla, nannih cu miluat si dingah kawhmi nan si. Sikhalsehla cuih luatnak cu nan taksa diriamternak ah canter hlah uh. Cuhnakin duhdawtnak thawn pakhat le pakhat rian aw in bawm aw ton uh. 14Ziangah tile Daan hmuahhmuah cu, “Nangmah na duh awk vekin na innhnen na duhdaw pei,” * timi thukham pakhat sungah hin a kim ṭheh a si. 15Asinain hramlak ramsa bangin nan nung ih pakhat le pakhat nan keeu nan deh aw a si ahcun ralring uh, nan cemral leh ding a si! Relinquish your right to get even. This is the heart of forgiveness. The Bible says, “Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it” (Romans 12:19 TLB). You deserve to retaliate, but you must commit not to do so. It’s not fair, but it’s healthy. This isn’t a one-time decision but a daily one that may even require moment-by-moment decisions. Our natural inclination is to fight back to the people who hurt us. Therefore, in order not to avenge yourself, it requires love (obeying the command of Christ: love others as he loves us John 13:34) and faith, believing that God can work and accomplish His will in our lives and in the lives of those who hurt us.  Respond to evil with good. This is how you know you’ve fully released someone from the wrong that has been committed against you. Humanly speaking, it’s nearly impossible to respond to evil with good. You’ll need God’s help. You’ll need the love of Jesus to fill you up. Why? God’s love doesn’t keep track of wrongs (see 1 Corinthians 13). Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot be overcome by darkness. Hate    cannot be overcome by hate but only love.” Rom. 12:20 No, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.” The “burning coals” means the feeling of shame our enemies will experience when we return good for evil.   Refocus on God’s plan for your life. You stop focusing on the hurt and the person who hurt you. Instead, you refocus on God’s purpose for your life, which is greater than any problem or pain you might be currently facing. As long as you continue to focus on the person who has hurt you, that person controls you. In fact, you can take it a step further. If you don’t release your offender, you will begin to resemble your offender. Phil. 3:13 Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Phil. 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. 13Ka u le ka nau pawl, cumicu ka co ngah zo, tiin ka ruat hrimhrim lo. Ka tuahmi cu pakhat lawng a si: ka dunglamih a luan ciami thil kha hngilhsan tahratin ka hmailamih a ummi kha ban dingah ka dawh aw rero a si. 14Curuangah hmuitinmi lamah zuam man ngah dingin dingtein ka tlan. Cuih zuam man cu Pathian in Khrih Jesuh sung ihsin kumkhua nung dingah in run kawhnak kha a si. Conclusion:  In order to have a healthy forgiveness to others:  1. Recognize that no one is perfect.  2. Don’t take revenge.  3. Respond evil with good.  4. Refocus on God’s plan for your life.

Ref: Rick Warren, Daily Hope(July 5, 2015) and Warren W. Wiersbe, Bible Commentary

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September 30, 2018 (Sunday)

FBCMD