I Love You

The words "I love you" have the power to change lives. They certainly changed the life of my favorite uncle, Jack. He was a wonderful man who took care of my mother, Rebecca, when she grew older and needed help. I was grateful for him and always told him so.

Unfortunately, he didn’t think much of himself and had a difficult time accepting that people truly appreciated and respected him. He always kept his distance. When his wife died, he retreated further into himself, feeling as if God had rejected him.

I would tell him, "Jack, I just love you." But he would always respond, "Now Charles, no you don’t. You don’t really love me." No matter what I said, he could not believe I genuinely cared for him. It was as if he thought, Why would you love me? I’m no one and have nothing.
But I wasn’t willing to give up. I told myself, I will keep praying, and one of these days, I’m going to get through to him.
 
I can still recall where I was standing when it finally happened. Years had passed, but as always, I said, "Jack, I just love you." He said, "Charles, I love you, too." It still brings tears to my eyes to remember it, because once he was able to overcome his feelings of rejection, everything about him changed. He even started hugging me. As soon as he stopped depriving himself of the love, admiration, and respect people wanted to show him, he became a totally different person—one who experienced true acceptance and joy.

Everyone enjoys being told they are loved. But as I write this letter, I wonder if some of you hear it enough. Perhaps you feel like my Uncle Jack did, battling constant thoughts of, I am not worthy of being loved. I’ve been rejected so often, there is no way anyone could possibly want or respect me. Maybe you know someone who thinks, No one really cares about me. I’m useless. It is likely he or she feels this way because of being hurt or rejected in the past.
Rejection is painful, piercing to the core of who we are, and consequences can be devastating. We can become materialistic, bitter, critical, and unloving; feel inferior and suspicious of others; isolate ourselves; suffer from depression or other health problems; or even turn to addictive things such as alcohol, drugs, gambling, or sexual immorality in an attempt to numb our pain.
So what can we do if we are struggling with feelings of rejection? Where can we turn?

There is One who is always calling your name and saying, "I just love you." In fact, your heavenly Father says it every moment of every day. He does so through His call to salvation (Rom. 5:8). But He also demonstrates His unfailing devotion after you accept Jesus as Savior by sealing you with His Holy Spirit forever (Rom. 5:5). His love for you is strong and unfailing. That is why Romans 8:38-39 asserts, "Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

God knows exactly what you need to set you free from feelings of worthlessness and rejection. And He faithfully provides three essential components that are required for you to enjoy a healthy self-image—belonging, worth, and competence.

First, the Father knows you need to be part of something important, so He proclaims that you belong to His family. The apostle John praises Him for this, saying, "See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are" (1 John 3:1). He chose you, invited you to be part of His family, and has given you gifts that are essential to all the other members of the church. You are accepted, wanted, and needed. Truly, you belong. 

Second, the Lord understands that you need to know you are valued, so He declares you worthy of His love. Think about what Jesus did: "For the joy set before Him" He "endured the cross, despising the shame" (Heb. 12:2). What was the joy set before Him? It was a relationship with you. He sacrificed everything—comfort, dignity, and even His life—because He deemed you more important than all of this. Assuredly, you are worthy.

Third, God realizes that you need to feel competent, so He promises to help you succeed in whatever task He gives you. The Lord empowers you to do everything He calls you to achieve through the help of His indwelling Holy Spirit. No matter what challenges or obstacles you experience, you know your "adequacy is from God" (2 Cor. 3:5), and He will never let you down. He empowers you to succeed. 

I hope you will let go of your feelings of rejection and open your heart to the love the Father has lavished on you. When He says, "I love you," He doesn’t just change your life, He transforms your eternity. You belong to His family, you are worthy of His care, and He helps you succeed in whatever task He gives you. Seek Him daily and listen as He calls your name in love. Accept His truth, my friend, because He certainly accepts you.

Dr Charles Stanley